Trump v Beyonc: the moral majority’s attempt to defend the indefensible

Conservatives are contorting themselves to excuse Trumps misconduct, while calling the Obamas hypocrites for liking rap. To borrow from their nominee: sad!

Contrary to the throaty moans of TV pundits and the aggrieved posts clogging your social media feeds, there is a miraculous silver lining to this methodical meat grinder of a presidential election. Something magnificent has occurred that only a once-in-a-lifetime pile of spoiled bologna like Donald Trump could manifest. The pearl-clutching, holy-rolling conservative media is exposing itself. Not literally, even if Roger Ailes has thought about it once or twice after one too many highballs at the country club.

Former Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling has found a new appreciation for his very beautiful son and sees no problem marveling at the attractiveness of underage girls. Rush Limbaugh, once a man committed to making Bill Clinton pay for his marital infidelity, has seen the light and now does not blink twice at stepping out on your wife if they let you do anything. Observing this is like watching a cat try to escape a burlap sack. The moral majority is struggling to find comfort with the most immoral candidate they could find.

Now, seeing that their position is uniquely untenable, they are gamely attempting to claim that it is the Democrats who are the true hypocrites. After all, Obama listens to hip-hop and has invited rappers to the White House. Ann Coulter tweeted that Michelle Obama should be ashamed of herself for chastising Trump while giving credence to the notion that Beyonc is a role model for young girls, even though she has, in song, declared that her is pussy curvalicious, served delicious. Only human strawman Ann Coulter could find any equivalency between extoling the virtues of ones genitals and claiming someone elses as yours to do with as you please and in any case, that line (from Feeling Myself) was delivered by Nicki Minaj.

The thing is, Jay Z, Beyonc, and Kanye West are not running for president (yet). No one is wondering if Fetty Wap is fit to run the most powerful military in the world or knows how to solve the Syrian refugee crisis. I have yet to find much support for a last-minute J Cole write-in candidacy, though I feel like DJ Khaled is subtly preparing to run for his local school board.

If the above sounds preposterous to you, try to remember how we all felt when Donald Trump announced his candidacy for president. It seemed like the universe was taking the collective piss out of all of us, declaring that any dimwit possessing enough Twitter followers and a penchant for personal embarrassment could be a viable option for the highest office in the land. This ambulatory piece of salmon jerky can offer himself up for public service and its treated as totally normal. The only thing Donald Trump has ever done that remotely resembles a selfless act was when he inadvertently got Billy Bush fired from the Today Show.

Beyonc is not running for president, but Donald Trump is, which is why his words are the ones that matter here. The line for what is acceptable has moved so far, so fast, that the idea of a rapper in the White House should not be so unpleasant to the average Bible-humping conservative. As the Republican party further normalizes outrageous behavior by supporting their wholly unqualified, monstrous candidate, they welcome the very thing they seem so afraid of.

There is no such thing as morality in politics any more. What we define as good is irrelevant. Conservative pundits have torn down the wall between them and the popular culture with a glee and aplomb that borders on mania. People who claim faith like Ralph Reed have willfully turned themselves into bigger jokes than they were four years ago. When Desiigner becomes president in 12 years and changes the lyrics of the Star-Spangled Banner to some mindless gibberish about BMWs, it will be their fault.

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