Ifs and butts: readers’ questions on orgasms answered

Responding to comments below our recent story about orgasm probabilities, Mona Chalabi tackles your queries, some serious, others less so

If there was a time in my life when I wondered whats a butt?, that time is long past. But here I am, thinking about this deeply philosophical question after one of you posted it in response to a survey at the bottom of an article on orgasm probabilities.

It wasnt the only comment that left me perplexed someone asked is there danger of explosion? and another mysteriously left one word: organs. But here we are, dear reader, you and I. You, somewhere out there wondering whats a butt and I, needing to find you an answer. I tried; dont say I didnt try.

Are there different types of male orgasm?

It was difficult to resist the alternative research suggestions proffered by Google but I dutifully looked up your question.

Research can lead to Hell and hdmi cables Photograph: Google
Its confusing. Ive seen sources suggest that there are
two, eight or even nine types of male orgasm (the latter estimate comes from this video of a man walking around a fountain outside Louis Vuitton at what looks like an artificial twilight with a deep cut on his nose which he makes no reference to while listing orgasms).

A slightly more thorough investigation reveals that there are at least two a male orgasm with ejaculation, and one without. According to a 1993 study published in the Journal of Neurology, a dissociation between ejaculation and orgasm is possible but rare in the non-spinal cord injury population.

What is a gay orgasm?

The same as a non-gay orgasm. Except more likely, according to data.

Come here often? Orgasm gap data Photograph: Mona Chalabi

How is babby formed?

When alternating bands of soft and hard rock are repeatedly hit by waves, the hard rock juts out and becomes headlands while the soft rock recedes and becomes bays. Oh sorry, I thought you were asking about how bays are formed.

See, I can troll too. I know that this question was originally asked on Yahoo and became so thoroughly ridiculed that it became a meme. Other questions posed on the site included bestiality, is it for me? and I am eating pickles that expired in 2003 is that bad?. Heres a video about pregnancy questions what it lacks in information, it more than makes up for in entertainment (sound is a must).


figcaption class=”caption” caption–img”> Am I gregnant?

Is sea-salt fully renewable? In other words, if salt were too aggressively farmed, would it affect the salinity of the ocean?

Huh? Wrong survey love.

Do men fake orgasms?

Yes. About a quarter of men said they pretended to orgasm in a 2010 study of 180 college students. Most of them said they had pretended during penile-vaginal orgasm but some also said they had done so during what the researchers sexily refer to as manual stimulation. If you think that sounds implausible, remember those non-ejaculatory orgasms I mentioned earlier.

When asked why, the men mostly said they wanted the sex to end without hurting their partners feelings. The researchers concluded that heterosexuals tend to stick to a sexual script in which women should orgasm before men, and men are responsible for womens orgasms.

Betty Dodson would agree. We interviewed Dodson, a sex educator, in this episode of Vagina Dispatches (she appears at 9 minutes 50 seconds) she has some animated words to share about the way that porn has shaped our sexual expectations.


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figcaption class=”caption” caption–img”> Why are women less likely to orgasm than men?

Can men organ [sic] by having their nuts tickled?

I put this reader question to the person sitting closest to me with nuts (and organs). He replied: I mean, it might help.

How many women have never orgasmed?

OK, this question didnt actually come from a Guardian reader but from a colleague who watched the latest episode of The Bachelor. In said episode, a contestant said she had never had an orgasm with her ex before entering the fantasy suite with The Bachelor (its like a fairytale except one where Cinderella and Prince Charming were humping, fame-hungry monsters).

Anyway. Studies suggest that this isnt all that rare for women although, just like every number you see, the way that this is measured has a huge impact on the how high or how low that number is. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (which is the go-to textbook for American psychiatrists) published a review of existing research into a condition they describe as female orgasmic disorder.

That existing research suggests that the number could be as low as 10% (if you use a 2003 study of 987 heterosexual women in the US) or as high as 29% (based on another 2003 study of 9,134 women in Australia).

Whats a butt?

Lean forward. More, more, a bit more, keep going, more, stretch, thats it. Drop your head between your legs and look at the back of your crotch. That, my friend, is a butt.

Seriously though, the fact that so many of you thought it was hil-ar-ee-us to write questions like this sort of shows why we need these articles in the first place. Because <a href=”https://www.theguardian.com/education/video/2016/nov/17/sex-education-vagina-dispatches-episode-four” data-link-name=”in” body link” class=”u-underline”>sex ed has clearly failed if talking about bodies make us want to giggle and make butt jokes.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/01/ifs-and-butts-readers-questions-on-orgasms-sex-answered

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