We must pin our hopes and dreams on Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddlestons romance. In this crazy, messed-up world, they are our last shot at happiness
Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston might not be the celebrity super-couple we deserve, butthey are the celebrity super-couple we need. In times as fraught as these surrounded as we areby tragedy in the US, violence in Europe and the threat of long-term political turmoil in the UK we as apeople need a balm, something to soothe our troubled souls and remind us that this miserable excuse for a planet is not completely lost. We need, in short, a photograph ofTom Hiddleston snogging Taylor Swift on a rock.
This always happens. In our darkest hour, life will always find a way. During the horrors of the second world war, for instance, people found solace in the patriotic music of Vera Lynn. In the days after last years Paris attacks, they found an outlet in Kay Burleys ridiculous photo of a sullen golden retriever. And now, when it truly feels as if the world is falling to pieces around us; when everyone seems to be tearfully flailing around in the dark, hoping against hope to find something anything that can offer the smallest hint that humanity is capable of something other than relentless cruelty,we are shown a photograph ofHiddleston eating Swifts face clean off her head.
These are the images we should run towards today. Hiddleston and Swift, two people who have respectively become our communal boyfriend andBFF, recipients of more botched pencil-drawn Tumblr fan-art than anyone else alive, havefinally found one another. The Gatekeeper hasfound the Keymaster. If these photographs specifically that one of them kissing with their heads tilted in a painful-looking way because they are both too stupid to take off their sunglasses dont usher in the literal Age of Aquarius, then frankly we are a lost cause.
Sure, there are plenty of questions to be asked about this glorious union, but they can be answered another time. We dont need to concern ourselves with how poor Calvin Harris, until recently Taylors most conspicuous male photography companion, is taking the news. Nor do we need to follow Twitters lead by immediately wondering if the small pile of stones stacked behind them is conclusive proof that they are both members of the Illuminati. And while, for the sake of history, we should quickly agree on astandardised composite nickname forthem both be it TomTay or Taylom or Twiddleswift this too should be delayed until the magnitude of the event has properly sunk in.
Because this feels like vindication. This feels like proof that love is stronger than hate. If these two attractive millionaires can kiss each other on arock by the sea, like two Little Mermaid sculptures trying to meld skulls, then life is still worth living.
We didnt know it at the time, but weve been watching this burgeoning relationship from its earliest breath. We saw the video of Hiddleston and Swift dancing together at this years Met Gala, and we thought nothing of it. We thought we were simply witnessing some blurry iPhone footage of two selfconscious strangers obnoxiously failing to move their limbs with any real amount of coordination during an event that Tina Fey once described as afart cloud. But we were not. With the benefit of hindsight, it turns out that we were actually watching Romeo meet Juliet. We were watching Antony meet Cleopatra. We were, make no mistake, watching Richard meet Judy.
And now this attraction has blossomed into all-out love. It must be love, after all, because only love can cause two people with such an intense grasp on their public image to wander out to a public spot and openly kiss before awkwardly turning around to acknowledge the photographer who, realistically, they must have known was there all along.
Clearly, now is the time to give Hiddleston and Swift some space. This is a new love, and all they really know about one another is that they look annoying when they dance and that they absolutely refuse to kiss without their sunglasses on, no matter the damage they are obviously causing to their spines. They need time to get to know one another, to get used to each others patterns and behaviours and tedious Owen Wilson impersonations that they keep shoehorning into conversations for no real reason. They deserve that much from us.
But not for long, because they belong to us now. Hiddleston and Swift represent all that is good in the world. We must pin all we have all our hopes, dreams and ambitions on them as fiercely as we can. Because in this crazy, messed-up world, they are our last true shot at happiness. They are proof that, together, we can do anything. Because now we have a slightly suspicious-looking photograph of Hiddleston kissing Swift on a rock, and thats all were ever going to need.