What Your Tiny Tattoo Says About You & The Kind Of Self-Absorbed Asshole You Are


div class=”field” field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden”>


div class=”field-items”>


div class=”field-item” even”>I have a lot of pastimes and most of them include me judging people from afar. But nothing brings me more joy than talking shit about people and their tinyexcuse me, tattoos. Its the simple things, really. Remember when tramp stamps were all the rage? Yeah, those are so over, they’re done, and tiny tattoos have become the new norm for those looking to express their latent daddy issues. (I say all of this like I dont have at least two Pinterest boards devoted to tiny tattoos and cute placementsI totally fucking do.) But whether you realize it or not, your tiny tattoo speaks VOLUMES about you and probably the life you lead on Instagram. So listen up, betches, because this is about to be a rude fucking awakening for some of you. Heres how much of a self-absorbed asshole you are based on your choice of tiny tattoo:


h2 style=”text-align:;” center;”>Something From

First of all, I would just like to say that Potterheads are the reason I drink. Theres something unsettling about a bunch of twentysomething adults who throw whole costume parties with a theme that encourages you to dress up as an 11-year-old boy. Also, never, under any circumstances, mention around these people that you have either read /liked at one point in your life/have a vague thought about the movie adaptation, because they will take that shit and run with it. Its like you say one thing about and suddenly they want to challenge you to a verbal duel so they can prove that they know very creepy, minute details about a prepubescent fictional boy more about than you do. Like, no I do not know who the fuck Harrys apparition instructor was in his sixth year at Hogwarts, but I do know that I would like to be excluded from this narrative please. Thanks. Second of all, if youre getting a tattoo because is your favorite book that doesnt make you special. Like, you and every other virgin who cant drive self-proclaimed Hufflepuff in the world. Do us all a favor and leave your freak flag in the chat room at home where it belongs. 


p style=”text-align:;” center;”>

A Tiny Heart And/Or Other Tiny Object

This is the type of person who spends a lot of their time finding new ways to incorporate mason jars into their home dcor. Its okay, we were all thinking it. Im going to take a shot in the dark and guess that theyre also the type of girl who loooveesss sushi and drinks wine according to the season (i.e. red in the fall/winter, white in the spring, ros in the summer). Lol, you are  random. They probably thought that by getting a tattoo they could be the edgy girl in their sorority or that it would give them something to be coy about on a Bumble date, but honestly all it did was cement their place as the most basic bitch within a five mile radius. But, like, Ill give a slow clap to that because you should own your basicness. Id say never change, but thats not really necessary because we all know they wont.

Cursive Script

Girls who proudly display cursive script tattoos are 100 percent the assholes I was talking about earlier. They definitely have a thing that theyre into. Like fitness or travel or just generally being a self-absorbed asshole. That kind of thing. Getting a tattoo like this is the female equivalent of getting an In God We Trust tattoo, except instead of using a biblical verse to cover up that fact that he’s a giant douchebag who says shit like I dont believe in labels, girls use it to cover up the fact that theyre low-key slutty. Like, tattooing the daily affirmation you are so much more on your body sort of loses its meaning when its placed directly beneath your nipple. You know? Like v important style icons Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus, they probably also got their cursive script tattoo after a stint in rehab for exhaustion”. Good thing your boob hides that spelling error, though! Blessings.

Travel Coordinates

Travel coordinates on someone’s body are like the permanent version of a Facebook vacation photo album, except you dont have the option to unsubscribe from their tattoo because its literally on their body. And believe me, these bitches will talk about their trips every chance they fucking get. At the 9am department meeting where people have no business speaking words to me, period. In the elevator on my way to one hour of approved freedom lunch. Or at happy hour, which is most offensive to me because that is my safe place and youre ruining it by telling me the one time you did a wine tour in a foreign country. Groundbreaking. Like, just because youve been to Australia and seen a kangaroo does not make you a fucking world traveler. Like, oh did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness? Yeah, no one gives a shit.

Also, if I see one more Instagram selfie of a strategically posed thot “candidly” gazing up at a waterfall in a thong bikini with the caption wanderlusting, I will lose my goddamn mind. Seriously, these girls are the fucking worst. Not only are they the type of girls who 100 percent have travel coordinates tattooed on their ribs and/or wrist and/or hipbone but they also take themselves and their lavish vacations wayyy too seriously. Like, I get it, you want me to think youre roughing it in Thailand rn, being one with the people and rejecting consumerism and blah, blah, blah. But lets be real, you didnt go to Thailand to bring safe drinking water to people living in poverty, you went there to do a casual amount of drugs and take fire selfies at the Full Moon Party. Come on.

A Matching BFF Tattoo

You and your friend must think a lot of your friendship if youre willing to permanently mar tattoo your body with matching heartbeat tattoos (v original, girls, btw). Much like many facets of my life, I blame for thisMarlene King, where is my evil twin to blame shit on every time I fuck something up?because even though the Liars all got matching tattoos, that does not mean you and your bestie should get matching tattoos. The difference between you and the cast of (aside from their fame, money and issues with anorexia) is that they have the money to get said tattoo surgically removed should they find out that their BFF cut off all of her hair when they got back to school in the fall and got totally weird and I guess now shes on crack. So, like, really know the person before you get a life-long connection to them seared on your body. Ya know, just food for thot.


p style=”text-align:;” center;”>

^Or just somebody you share half a yin and yang tattoo with

Read more: http://www.betches.com/what-your-tiny-tattoo-says-about-you

No Comments
Add comment

Comments are closed.

Copyright © EP4Records Blog
%d bloggers like this: